The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Pregnancy is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it? I mean beyond the expected baby. The baby is pure joy - at least for those 11 minutes a day that you gaze into each other's eyes after a feeding, communing deeply. Then her touching focus projects out of her mouth and on your clothes, pillow, sheets. She stealth pees on the changing table (at least with a boy you know it's happening!) so that I've completed the diaper change, proud of myself for keeping baby alive and clean, and pick her up to find her back and suit soaking with fresh urine. Surprise! She knows when I've laid down at night and let out that last exhale - that last breath that says, 'She's down, it's 2am, now it's my turn to sleep - it's really my turn...' and she lets me know what to do with my turn.

But it's not the baby I'm talking about. Each of my three pregnancies has taught me new ailments that though comparatively mild are disconcerting in that they make one feel less like a woman experiencing the joys of fertility and more like...menopause. After Julian it was the carpal tunnel; Analee introduced the highly attractive varicose veins. Clara reintroduced the varicose veins in more interesting and plentiful designs and - oh! - have some night sweats too. As if waking every two hours with a pair of rocket launchers attached to your chest isn't excitement enough. Also the veins have become hardened and bumpy...but I'm getting into TMI territory. 

It's a scandalous thing, pregnancy. Whose idea was it to GROW A HUMAN INSIDE A HUMAN in order to make more people? The weirdness of this is evident in watching your own stomach crawl from someone else's limbs on the inside. Really, God? He never lets us alone - he means to get inside us, have us eat the scroll of his words and grow the souls for his kingdom in our bellies and take him all in to every part - no cell left unchanged. Reeling from the intimacy of pregnancy, I know I have far to go in intimacy with my Lord.

And because of our first mother's sin, part of the growing of souls is the pain of pushing them into this world. God assigned Eve pain in childbirth for her disobedience. He was not joking. What was it like for the first woman to give birth, to experience that pain with no reference for what it was like? What was it like for Adam to watch his wife, certainly sure she was dying. How did they know to cut the umbilical cord? How did Eve know how to feed her baby? Perhaps God had mercy and sent an angel to minister to Eve. This sounds like him. I hope it was so - I shudder to imagine the journey with an infant without any experience, any help from someone who knows.

We do have a new baby girl. She came the calmest of the three, giving me time to get to the hospital and labor while the nurse prepared the room. We arrived at the hospital around 6am, and Clara Adele was born at 8:42am. 8 lbs, 6 oz and perfect the way babies are. Looks just like her Daddy - even has dark hair, a special change from the other two who have come out looking Buntin. She is teaching us already about being family in ways we could not have imagined before her. I am astounded at what a good choice I made for my children's father, someone who patiently takes on their cleaning, feeding and discipline as needed with no thought to what is a 'woman's work' and what is a 'man's work.' 

Getting sappy now, so I'll just add pictures... 

Clara as baby Jesus